Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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