bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Randomize
