Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
