Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
