A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Randomize
