do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
