K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
zippers are such a cool invention
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
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