So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
