found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
