Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
