I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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