You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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