Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
