Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
