Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
