It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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