Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
