Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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