Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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