So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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