im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
