it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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