wanna go halves on a baby?
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Randomize
