I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
