Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
