@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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