She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
