I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
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