Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I AM VODKA MAN
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
