That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
