I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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