I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
