he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
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