i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
