Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
