I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
