You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
