Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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