Jerry, you need to find god
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
