I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
