You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
