Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I need a beard to bite.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
