That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
