Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
this boner is exhausting
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
