12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
