Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
