Having a random hookup so left but love u
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
