don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
