I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
bring money and cleavage
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
