I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
